patriotism

Am I a non-believer just for the heck of it? I don't seem to understand so many of our man-made notions. Of religion. money. marriage. and patriotism.

Patriotic: adjective; having or expressing devotion to and vigorous support for one's country
Source- Oxford American Dictionary

If that is what patriotism is, do I want to be a patriot?
Do I love my country. I guess so. Do I vigorously support it? Not really. Do I complain about it? At times. Do I want to move way from the country? Perhaps. And why? Definitely for reasons that have nothing to do with my disappointment with my country. Is it because I am looking for greener pastures? Possibly. By greener pastures, I just mean places I need to be, to do what I want to do at that given moment. It doesn't matter which country it is. Afghanistan, Somalia would be as much of a greener pasture as the US or UK depending only on what I 'feel' like doing at the moment.

Would I die for my country? I'd rather commit suicide than die for some purpose as useless as dying for one's country! I thank the forces for taking all the pains they do and the sacrifices they make to keep our country safe. I respect the profession they chose but I do not understand why they made the choice. And I'd rather they were home with their families just like me, even if that put all our lives at the mercy of some barbaric conqueror.

How is patriotism different from religious fundamentalism, racism, casteism and regionalism? All are man-made factions. When I think of it, the notion of race, caste and religion, which could all be said to have common underlying cultural and social beliefs, make more sense than the notion of a country, which has far less to do with cultures and has more to do with boundaries and laws defined by men of power. Why is India the way it is? What binds us Indians together? We are a diverse country. Why are we supposed to stand united as Indians? Do we have similar beliefs? Religions? Cultural identities? Couldn't Pakistan, China, Srilanka, Bhutan, Nepal, Burma, Japan, Russia have as well been a part of India? If it were, wouldn't we be expected to be united as a single country? So isn't all this shit about countries, nothing but a line we drew because of some war fought or some differences we had at some time in history? Isn't it all a result of our foolishness?

Why should I be patriotic? What purpose does it serve?
Perhaps patriotism promotes unity. It is something that binds us together. But in this very unity aren't we being disunited with the rest of the world?
Does patriotism protect us in someway? Does it protect us against ill-wills of other nations? Does it protect us against conquests? Does it in turn protect our cultural heritage and identity?

Why are we so insecure about our identities? Why do we think it will be stolen or snatched away from us? Perhaps because it has so often happened in the past that dictators have conquered lands and imposed their laws and religions on the conquered land. But glorifying patriotism provides a solution by emotionally blackmailing people to 'want' to serve their country during war-time. If people really wanted to fight an oppressing power, they would do it the way they wanted to. Doesn't the Russian Revolution or our 'very own' ;) 1857 uprising prove that?

Patriotism is really a sorry excuse for waging wars. If patriotism is a good enough excuse, then so is religious fundamentalism and racism. After all, it is all about fighting for some common cause against other people who might be trying to dominate, convert or opress us.

Why marry?

What is love?
I don't claim to know the answer. Not too long ago, I did have many theories about it though.
Now, seven years later, I ask myself if anything has changed?
Yes, a lot has changed. My opinions have shifted from one end of a spectrum to another.
Despite that, essentially, my point remains the same.
I still don't believe in the institution of marriage.
For those who ask, what does love have to do with marriage, my point is exactly that.
What does love have to do with marriage? Why should marriage exist?
Why would love need an excuse for the weakness of man?
In an ideal world, there would be no need for marriage.
But since our world is far from that, people have unanimously agreed to have an institution of marriage.
It is the law. Some rules. Something that would bind a man to a woman. And vice versa.
Something to constantly remind him not to go astray.
Something for him to own. Something for him to possess. Something for him to vent out frustrations into.
Something from which to expect favors. Demand them maybe. Something to blame for his failures.
Something to perhaps show off about.
And free and approved sex.

If my statements sound brash, let me put it another way.
Just what could be the worst that could happen if you removed the word marriage from people's vocabulary.
It would be a free free world.
Men and women would still fall in love. Have relationships. Not strictly with one partner.
Women would get pregnant. They might have fatherless babies.
Women may not want their babies. So now who would take care of the baby?
Is there anyone responsible for them?

Sounds chaotic. But all of the above holds good even with the institution of marriage. Except perhaps for the last bit about where the parentless children belong? With marriage there are laws to decide that. Without marriage, I agree I have no answer to that question.
But the question remains. Why is marriage a solution to the problem?
Why marriage at the cost of personal freedom?
Why can't we leave it to our natural instincts? Why do we assume people will be cruel and indifferent?
Will the parentless child be better off with two parents pretending to be nice to each other?

We always have the society to fall back on in case of a default in a marriage. It would be the same even without marriage, if only all of us truly forget about marriage, there would be no prejudice against unmarried couples, unwed mothers or fathers and parentless children.

You could say I have no case against marriage and that all I claim is that marriages are unnecessary. Why should I try so hard to see a world without marriages, when the effects, I claim so myself, are going to be pretty much the same. The reason is that marriages have just become an excuse that man uses to have free unquestioned sex. He uses it to abuse, blackmail and bind people. Uses it as a weapon. Being unmarried is considered a shame and being divorced is considered a sin. There definitely IS a prejudice against unmarried men and women, parentless children. That fact is taken advantage of and marriage is being abused. And all because of the fact that marriages are considered divine and essential. That brings me to the most important question. If marriage is about rules and excuses for man's weakness, why is it considered an all holy and a lovey-dovey romantic affair? Why is it something to be proud of? 'Holy matrimony'. It should be more like 'holey matrimony'! And if I were allowed to formulate the holy vows, it would be, "I don't trust you/me to love me/you or to stay the same forever. And even if I am foolish enough to trust you, surely my parents and the society don't. Therefore I marry you. And need you to marry me. And here is a sparkling diamond ring or yellow thread to remind me that you exist just in case I forget."