Am I a non-believer just for the heck of it? I don't seem to understand so many of our man-made notions. Of religion. money. marriage. and patriotism.
Patriotic: adjective; having or expressing devotion to and vigorous support for one's country
Source- Oxford American Dictionary
If that is what patriotism is, do I want to be a patriot?
Do I love my country. I guess so. Do I vigorously support it? Not really. Do I complain about it? At times. Do I want to move way from the country? Perhaps. And why? Definitely for reasons that have nothing to do with my disappointment with my country. Is it because I am looking for greener pastures? Possibly. By greener pastures, I just mean places I need to be, to do what I want to do at that given moment. It doesn't matter which country it is. Afghanistan, Somalia would be as much of a greener pasture as the US or UK depending only on what I 'feel' like doing at the moment.
Would I die for my country? I'd rather commit suicide than die for some purpose as useless as dying for one's country! I thank the forces for taking all the pains they do and the sacrifices they make to keep our country safe. I respect the profession they chose but I do not understand why they made the choice. And I'd rather they were home with their families just like me, even if that put all our lives at the mercy of some barbaric conqueror.
How is patriotism different from religious fundamentalism, racism, casteism and regionalism? All are man-made factions. When I think of it, the notion of race, caste and religion, which could all be said to have common underlying cultural and social beliefs, make more sense than the notion of a country, which has far less to do with cultures and has more to do with boundaries and laws defined by men of power. Why is India the way it is? What binds us Indians together? We are a diverse country. Why are we supposed to stand united as Indians? Do we have similar beliefs? Religions? Cultural identities? Couldn't Pakistan, China, Srilanka, Bhutan, Nepal, Burma, Japan, Russia have as well been a part of India? If it were, wouldn't we be expected to be united as a single country? So isn't all this shit about countries, nothing but a line we drew because of some war fought or some differences we had at some time in history? Isn't it all a result of our foolishness?
Why should I be patriotic? What purpose does it serve?
Perhaps patriotism promotes unity. It is something that binds us together. But in this very unity aren't we being disunited with the rest of the world?
Does patriotism protect us in someway? Does it protect us against ill-wills of other nations? Does it protect us against conquests? Does it in turn protect our cultural heritage and identity?
Why are we so insecure about our identities? Why do we think it will be stolen or snatched away from us? Perhaps because it has so often happened in the past that dictators have conquered lands and imposed their laws and religions on the conquered land. But glorifying patriotism provides a solution by emotionally blackmailing people to 'want' to serve their country during war-time. If people really wanted to fight an oppressing power, they would do it the way they wanted to. Doesn't the Russian Revolution or our 'very own' ;) 1857 uprising prove that?
Patriotism is really a sorry excuse for waging wars. If patriotism is a good enough excuse, then so is religious fundamentalism and racism. After all, it is all about fighting for some common cause against other people who might be trying to dominate, convert or opress us.
About Me
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Why marry?
What is love?
I don't claim to know the answer. Not too long ago, I did have many theories about it though.
Now, seven years later, I ask myself if anything has changed?
Yes, a lot has changed. My opinions have shifted from one end of a spectrum to another.
Despite that, essentially, my point remains the same.
I still don't believe in the institution of marriage.
For those who ask, what does love have to do with marriage, my point is exactly that.
What does love have to do with marriage? Why should marriage exist?
Why would love need an excuse for the weakness of man?
In an ideal world, there would be no need for marriage.
But since our world is far from that, people have unanimously agreed to have an institution of marriage.
It is the law. Some rules. Something that would bind a man to a woman. And vice versa.
Something to constantly remind him not to go astray.
Something for him to own. Something for him to possess. Something for him to vent out frustrations into.
Something from which to expect favors. Demand them maybe. Something to blame for his failures.
Something to perhaps show off about.
And free and approved sex.
If my statements sound brash, let me put it another way.
Just what could be the worst that could happen if you removed the word marriage from people's vocabulary.
It would be a free free world.
Men and women would still fall in love. Have relationships. Not strictly with one partner.
Women would get pregnant. They might have fatherless babies.
Women may not want their babies. So now who would take care of the baby?
Is there anyone responsible for them?
Sounds chaotic. But all of the above holds good even with the institution of marriage. Except perhaps for the last bit about where the parentless children belong? With marriage there are laws to decide that. Without marriage, I agree I have no answer to that question.
But the question remains. Why is marriage a solution to the problem?
Why marriage at the cost of personal freedom?
Why can't we leave it to our natural instincts? Why do we assume people will be cruel and indifferent?
Will the parentless child be better off with two parents pretending to be nice to each other?
We always have the society to fall back on in case of a default in a marriage. It would be the same even without marriage, if only all of us truly forget about marriage, there would be no prejudice against unmarried couples, unwed mothers or fathers and parentless children.
You could say I have no case against marriage and that all I claim is that marriages are unnecessary. Why should I try so hard to see a world without marriages, when the effects, I claim so myself, are going to be pretty much the same. The reason is that marriages have just become an excuse that man uses to have free unquestioned sex. He uses it to abuse, blackmail and bind people. Uses it as a weapon. Being unmarried is considered a shame and being divorced is considered a sin. There definitely IS a prejudice against unmarried men and women, parentless children. That fact is taken advantage of and marriage is being abused. And all because of the fact that marriages are considered divine and essential. That brings me to the most important question. If marriage is about rules and excuses for man's weakness, why is it considered an all holy and a lovey-dovey romantic affair? Why is it something to be proud of? 'Holy matrimony'. It should be more like 'holey matrimony'! And if I were allowed to formulate the holy vows, it would be, "I don't trust you/me to love me/you or to stay the same forever. And even if I am foolish enough to trust you, surely my parents and the society don't. Therefore I marry you. And need you to marry me. And here is a sparkling diamond ring or yellow thread to remind me that you exist just in case I forget."
I don't claim to know the answer. Not too long ago, I did have many theories about it though.
Now, seven years later, I ask myself if anything has changed?
Yes, a lot has changed. My opinions have shifted from one end of a spectrum to another.
Despite that, essentially, my point remains the same.
I still don't believe in the institution of marriage.
For those who ask, what does love have to do with marriage, my point is exactly that.
What does love have to do with marriage? Why should marriage exist?
Why would love need an excuse for the weakness of man?
In an ideal world, there would be no need for marriage.
But since our world is far from that, people have unanimously agreed to have an institution of marriage.
It is the law. Some rules. Something that would bind a man to a woman. And vice versa.
Something to constantly remind him not to go astray.
Something for him to own. Something for him to possess. Something for him to vent out frustrations into.
Something from which to expect favors. Demand them maybe. Something to blame for his failures.
Something to perhaps show off about.
And free and approved sex.
If my statements sound brash, let me put it another way.
Just what could be the worst that could happen if you removed the word marriage from people's vocabulary.
It would be a free free world.
Men and women would still fall in love. Have relationships. Not strictly with one partner.
Women would get pregnant. They might have fatherless babies.
Women may not want their babies. So now who would take care of the baby?
Is there anyone responsible for them?
Sounds chaotic. But all of the above holds good even with the institution of marriage. Except perhaps for the last bit about where the parentless children belong? With marriage there are laws to decide that. Without marriage, I agree I have no answer to that question.
But the question remains. Why is marriage a solution to the problem?
Why marriage at the cost of personal freedom?
Why can't we leave it to our natural instincts? Why do we assume people will be cruel and indifferent?
Will the parentless child be better off with two parents pretending to be nice to each other?
We always have the society to fall back on in case of a default in a marriage. It would be the same even without marriage, if only all of us truly forget about marriage, there would be no prejudice against unmarried couples, unwed mothers or fathers and parentless children.
You could say I have no case against marriage and that all I claim is that marriages are unnecessary. Why should I try so hard to see a world without marriages, when the effects, I claim so myself, are going to be pretty much the same. The reason is that marriages have just become an excuse that man uses to have free unquestioned sex. He uses it to abuse, blackmail and bind people. Uses it as a weapon. Being unmarried is considered a shame and being divorced is considered a sin. There definitely IS a prejudice against unmarried men and women, parentless children. That fact is taken advantage of and marriage is being abused. And all because of the fact that marriages are considered divine and essential. That brings me to the most important question. If marriage is about rules and excuses for man's weakness, why is it considered an all holy and a lovey-dovey romantic affair? Why is it something to be proud of? 'Holy matrimony'. It should be more like 'holey matrimony'! And if I were allowed to formulate the holy vows, it would be, "I don't trust you/me to love me/you or to stay the same forever. And even if I am foolish enough to trust you, surely my parents and the society don't. Therefore I marry you. And need you to marry me. And here is a sparkling diamond ring or yellow thread to remind me that you exist just in case I forget."
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Won't spring last forever?
I am weak when it matters most. I don't know a thing. It has been sunny all my life. The chirping of the birds never stopped. The brook sang a gentle song as it bubbled past. Spring is nice. But spring doesn't last forever. I wont survive a winter's wind. I don't want winter to come. But I live through spring waiting for the terrible winter yet to come. Dreading it. Knowing well that I won't survive it.
A Dayski's Day
A DAYSKI'S DAY
4:30 am
TRRRRRING!!!! TRRRRRING!!!!
I open my eyes, put off the alarm and have a look at the clock. I dont seem to remember why I needed to wake up at 4:30. Nothing that urgent I suppose. Another half hour would'nt make too much of a difference. So I reset the alarm for 5am. Yaaaawn! Its back to sleep.
5:00 am
TRRRRRING!!! TRRRRRING!!!!
This time it takes some time for the reflex action to act - to turn off the alarm as soon as it rings. Must've been in the 3rd stage of my REM sleep.(I almost always end up wondering if the reflex action is due to the fear of waking the folks at home up or a subconscious reaction that would prevent me from fully waking up!)
I try hard to open my eyes. When I do, I see stars all over. I must be sick. Probably due to overexhaustion...My eyelids droop..I could be having acute pharyngolaryngitis...I'm half asleep again...I'm not thinking clearly....I'm too sick to go to college...My eyes close...little stars...rock-a-bye-baby...zzzzzzzzz.......
6:15 am
I hear noises. A nudge on my shoulder. I turn over hugging my pillow harder. I hear louder noise. Sounds more familiar now. I realise it's my mom trying to wake me up. 'WAKE UP! YOUR LATE!'. My eyes pop open. Then it dawns on me... I've got got to finish the incomplete record of the previous night, draw graphs, prepare for the viva. And a test!
Why oh why didnt I finish it up last night! I jump out of bed yelling.'IT'S 6:30!! WHY DID'NT ANYONE WAKE ME UP EARLIER!!!'. Mum gets angry and starts saying something about procrasination. But it falls on deaf ears. I go to brush my teeth, mumbling beneath my breath about how my life sucks...about how alarms always fail to serve their purpose... blaming everything but myself for my state of despair.
6:20 am
Rush to work. Struggle to write the record legibly, still sulking and occasionally grumbling whenever some poor soul passes by my territory. My dad walks by with the newspaper, giving me a knowing grin. He knows that I would'nt have any time this morning to fight for the pocession of the paper.
7:00 am
At last! The record is done! I take a deep breath and relax. I look at the watch and the blood pressure rises again! I've still to study for the test and the viva and draw graphs! I decide to copy the graphs from the sweet, sincere and considerate batchmate of mine once again. Time to study now. I look up the syllabus and decide that I'm wasting the little time I have doing that. So I look into my books. There's too much in there to read in so less a time. So I search for my notes. Hmm, it takes sometime to find the appropiate topics. And it takes even longer to decipher my own handwriting. I curse myself for that and then promise to prepare better notes and to improve my handwriting. Then I realise that I have no time to even think about these things. So I get back to studying.
7:30 am
Time to have a bath. I rush to the cupboard and grab some clothe worthy of wearing to college and head for the bathroom. So what if it is just washed and is'nt ironed.
8:00 am.
Get outta the batroom and turn the house upside down looking for my dupatta envying all guys. I try taming the wild fibres I have for hair and think for the second time in five minutes about how fortunate guys are.
8:15 am
'Im late!! I cant have my breakfast', hoping to make up some time to study by skipping breakfast. That does it. Mum gets wild. She starts off with how irresponsible I am and how I postpone things to the eleventh hour and about how lazy I am. And then the allegations take a whole new twist. Now the cause of all of the above is-- having no stamina! Which is in turn because of improper and irregular diets and zero excercise!!!!
Whoa!!! I dont see any correlation at all!! But I decide to keep that to myself. I sit quietly and gobble up my food still trying in vain, to figure out my notes.
8:00 am
Time to leave the house. I walk down to the busstop wondering if I forgot something. As soon as I reach the busstop I remember! I am not wearing my lab shoes!! I rush back to my house. Ignoring the nasty welcome I receive from my folks. I force my feet into the shoe. Forget the lace!
8:15 am
I do a 200m dash to my bus which would definitely put PT Usha to shame and see that the bus is moving away! IM NOT GONNA MAKE IT!!
No!! all is not lost. The bus is slowing down! Some lifesaver has seen me and has probably asked the driver to stop the bus!! The conductor gives me a dirty look as I enter the bus breathless, taking a seat. I regain my breath. I remember that I still have lots more to do. So I start studying once again.
8:35 am
I'm actually concentrating hard. I'm actually 'really' studying and flipping pages at an unbelievably fast rate! There's no better place to study than in a moving bus. I conclude that I'd have definitely topped my class if I studied in a moving bus!
8:50 am
I walk into my classroom...sorting everything out...enquiring abt the test to deduce probability of its postponement!
9:05 am
The proff walks in. The CR manages to get the test postponed! YAAAAY!! A momentary feeling of elation flickers through me until I realise that it made no difference anyway. Time drags on. Classes go on. I start getting a little restless.
10:40 am
Break at last! I look around for unfinished business to finish up(graphs and all). And start preparing for my lab viva.
11:00 am
Classes continue. My concentration levels are reducing. I'm getting hungry. Still, I manage to listen and take notes.
12:05
My stomach starts rumbling. Not a word gets past my eardrums. So forget about anything getting registered in my brain.
12:40 pm
Just as the professor leaves, I realise that I've lost my apetite! I wonder if there's some psycological reason for that. Maybe my brain needs energy to comprehend my proffs utterances. Maybe my brain just gets fedup of transmitting continuous hunger signals for too long.
12:45 pm
Start eating my lunch, tasting a bit of everyone elses. We discuss all the possible viva questions over lunch.
1:15 pm
I finish my lunch, clear things up and see if I have any more work to get on with. I realise that I'm quite free! At least for the next 900 seconds.
1:30 pm
Start preparing to go to the lab. We enter the lab, all tensed, even tho there does'nt seem to be anything that we wouldn't know. But there obviously has to be a question we don't know the answer to, that the professor has to ask! So we go out -on a quest for an answer to the question.
4:20 pm
We're out of the lab. Relieved that all was well. Canteen! Here we come!
5:10 pm
We head for the busstop. Gossip about the events of the day. Get into the bus when it arrives.
6:00 pm
Home at last. I wash up and hog anything that's served on the dining table, pausing only to narrate all the events of the day to anyone who cares to listen. Then hit the bed.
7:00 pm
Noises again! Why can't someone allow me to get a peaceful night's sleep! Oops it's just 7! Okay, now what do I do? I start off with the records.
8:00 pm
Groan! Fingers are stiff. Eyes are sore. I'll take a break. So what if I took my previous break just 10 minutes back. I loiter around my house. Walk up and down giving my expert opinions and comments on everything under the sun, much to dad's disgust.
I look around for the morning paper and read it. Newspapers aren't very interesting in the evening. It is good only in the morning when it's fresh and when you get to snatch it from your appa!
8:30 pm
Time for dinner. Records can wait. I hunt for a novel to read over dinner. Get shouted at for that 'heinous' act.
9:00 pm
Continue with the novel even after dinner.
9:30 pm
Develop a guilty conscience realising that I've revised the book more than 'n' times already. So I get back to work again.
10:30 pm
Yawn!! My back is now inclined at 30 degrees and the angle is reducing at a constant rate. I read on...'output is fedback.......amplified'.....10 degress....'reverse biased'....zzzzzzzzzzz.......
4:30 am
TRRRRRING!!!! TRRRRRING!!!!
I open my eyes, put off the alarm and have a look at the clock. I dont seem to remember why I needed to wake up at 4:30. Nothing that urgent I suppose. Another half hour would'nt make too much of a difference. So I reset the alarm for 5am. Yaaaawn! Its back to sleep.
5:00 am
TRRRRRING!!! TRRRRRING!!!!
This time it takes some time for the reflex action to act - to turn off the alarm as soon as it rings. Must've been in the 3rd stage of my REM sleep.(I almost always end up wondering if the reflex action is due to the fear of waking the folks at home up or a subconscious reaction that would prevent me from fully waking up!)
I try hard to open my eyes. When I do, I see stars all over. I must be sick. Probably due to overexhaustion...My eyelids droop..I could be having acute pharyngolaryngitis...I'm half asleep again...I'm not thinking clearly....I'm too sick to go to college...My eyes close...little stars...rock-a-bye-baby...zzzzzzzzz.......
6:15 am
I hear noises. A nudge on my shoulder. I turn over hugging my pillow harder. I hear louder noise. Sounds more familiar now. I realise it's my mom trying to wake me up. 'WAKE UP! YOUR LATE!'. My eyes pop open. Then it dawns on me... I've got got to finish the incomplete record of the previous night, draw graphs, prepare for the viva. And a test!
Why oh why didnt I finish it up last night! I jump out of bed yelling.'IT'S 6:30!! WHY DID'NT ANYONE WAKE ME UP EARLIER!!!'. Mum gets angry and starts saying something about procrasination. But it falls on deaf ears. I go to brush my teeth, mumbling beneath my breath about how my life sucks...about how alarms always fail to serve their purpose... blaming everything but myself for my state of despair.
6:20 am
Rush to work. Struggle to write the record legibly, still sulking and occasionally grumbling whenever some poor soul passes by my territory. My dad walks by with the newspaper, giving me a knowing grin. He knows that I would'nt have any time this morning to fight for the pocession of the paper.
7:00 am
At last! The record is done! I take a deep breath and relax. I look at the watch and the blood pressure rises again! I've still to study for the test and the viva and draw graphs! I decide to copy the graphs from the sweet, sincere and considerate batchmate of mine once again. Time to study now. I look up the syllabus and decide that I'm wasting the little time I have doing that. So I look into my books. There's too much in there to read in so less a time. So I search for my notes. Hmm, it takes sometime to find the appropiate topics. And it takes even longer to decipher my own handwriting. I curse myself for that and then promise to prepare better notes and to improve my handwriting. Then I realise that I have no time to even think about these things. So I get back to studying.
7:30 am
Time to have a bath. I rush to the cupboard and grab some clothe worthy of wearing to college and head for the bathroom. So what if it is just washed and is'nt ironed.
8:00 am.
Get outta the batroom and turn the house upside down looking for my dupatta envying all guys. I try taming the wild fibres I have for hair and think for the second time in five minutes about how fortunate guys are.
8:15 am
'Im late!! I cant have my breakfast', hoping to make up some time to study by skipping breakfast. That does it. Mum gets wild. She starts off with how irresponsible I am and how I postpone things to the eleventh hour and about how lazy I am. And then the allegations take a whole new twist. Now the cause of all of the above is-- having no stamina! Which is in turn because of improper and irregular diets and zero excercise!!!!
Whoa!!! I dont see any correlation at all!! But I decide to keep that to myself. I sit quietly and gobble up my food still trying in vain, to figure out my notes.
8:00 am
Time to leave the house. I walk down to the busstop wondering if I forgot something. As soon as I reach the busstop I remember! I am not wearing my lab shoes!! I rush back to my house. Ignoring the nasty welcome I receive from my folks. I force my feet into the shoe. Forget the lace!
8:15 am
I do a 200m dash to my bus which would definitely put PT Usha to shame and see that the bus is moving away! IM NOT GONNA MAKE IT!!
No!! all is not lost. The bus is slowing down! Some lifesaver has seen me and has probably asked the driver to stop the bus!! The conductor gives me a dirty look as I enter the bus breathless, taking a seat. I regain my breath. I remember that I still have lots more to do. So I start studying once again.
8:35 am
I'm actually concentrating hard. I'm actually 'really' studying and flipping pages at an unbelievably fast rate! There's no better place to study than in a moving bus. I conclude that I'd have definitely topped my class if I studied in a moving bus!
8:50 am
I walk into my classroom...sorting everything out...enquiring abt the test to deduce probability of its postponement!
9:05 am
The proff walks in. The CR manages to get the test postponed! YAAAAY!! A momentary feeling of elation flickers through me until I realise that it made no difference anyway. Time drags on. Classes go on. I start getting a little restless.
10:40 am
Break at last! I look around for unfinished business to finish up(graphs and all). And start preparing for my lab viva.
11:00 am
Classes continue. My concentration levels are reducing. I'm getting hungry. Still, I manage to listen and take notes.
12:05
My stomach starts rumbling. Not a word gets past my eardrums. So forget about anything getting registered in my brain.
12:40 pm
Just as the professor leaves, I realise that I've lost my apetite! I wonder if there's some psycological reason for that. Maybe my brain needs energy to comprehend my proffs utterances. Maybe my brain just gets fedup of transmitting continuous hunger signals for too long.
12:45 pm
Start eating my lunch, tasting a bit of everyone elses. We discuss all the possible viva questions over lunch.
1:15 pm
I finish my lunch, clear things up and see if I have any more work to get on with. I realise that I'm quite free! At least for the next 900 seconds.
1:30 pm
Start preparing to go to the lab. We enter the lab, all tensed, even tho there does'nt seem to be anything that we wouldn't know. But there obviously has to be a question we don't know the answer to, that the professor has to ask! So we go out -on a quest for an answer to the question.
4:20 pm
We're out of the lab. Relieved that all was well. Canteen! Here we come!
5:10 pm
We head for the busstop. Gossip about the events of the day. Get into the bus when it arrives.
6:00 pm
Home at last. I wash up and hog anything that's served on the dining table, pausing only to narrate all the events of the day to anyone who cares to listen. Then hit the bed.
7:00 pm
Noises again! Why can't someone allow me to get a peaceful night's sleep! Oops it's just 7! Okay, now what do I do? I start off with the records.
8:00 pm
Groan! Fingers are stiff. Eyes are sore. I'll take a break. So what if I took my previous break just 10 minutes back. I loiter around my house. Walk up and down giving my expert opinions and comments on everything under the sun, much to dad's disgust.
I look around for the morning paper and read it. Newspapers aren't very interesting in the evening. It is good only in the morning when it's fresh and when you get to snatch it from your appa!
8:30 pm
Time for dinner. Records can wait. I hunt for a novel to read over dinner. Get shouted at for that 'heinous' act.
9:00 pm
Continue with the novel even after dinner.
9:30 pm
Develop a guilty conscience realising that I've revised the book more than 'n' times already. So I get back to work again.
10:30 pm
Yawn!! My back is now inclined at 30 degrees and the angle is reducing at a constant rate. I read on...'output is fedback.......amplified'.....10 degress....'reverse biased'....zzzzzzzzzzz.......
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